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How to Hurdle Relationship-Game Obstacles

By 11:29 AM , ,

Who doesn't love a good stock photo representing relationship troubles? 

Battling your way into a new relationship is a multifaceted, ego-driven, power-struggle. Serious game faces are needed here - 'aloof' is your new middle name.

If you are currently wading into the unknown depths of a new relationship like I am, then I'm here to provide some oh-so high school (yet ladylike) advice that even Blair Waldorf would envy.

If you haven't heard back from your new beau in a while (anything over 2 hours) here's what to do:

1) Breathe. And I mean the sort of zen breathing you would do on a cold mountain top surrounded by monks. This step is crucial as you need to be clear headed. It's very easy to let your thought-tap start running full force.. Soon you're head will be overflowing with, 'He obviously isn't messaging me back because he's not interested' 'Maybe he's gay' 'Oh my god, he's married' 'Maybe I should message him and ask if he is' 'No that's silly' 'I know, I'll just message him for the fifth time today asking how he is, where is he, what he's doing' STOP. And breathe.

2)Depending on the level of worked-up-ness that you find yourself I would recommend yoga for the anxious and kickboxing for the ever-so-slightly more anxious. Working up a sweat really puts those 'to text or not to text' doubts at bay.

If you have heard from your new beau, but with an agonising one-worded response, here's what to do:

Now here is where it gets tricky. One-worded responses can mean a variety of things: he's not that into you, he doesn't know what to say and/or he is illiterate.

Patience here is key. DO NOT under any circumstances reply within 24 hours.

If he is wondering why he hasn't heard from you in a while he might look back over the messages and realise it is because he sent a completely useless response of 'Okay' or 'Haha' - if he realises his mistake and messages you during the 24 hour waiting period then it is imperative you reply within a reasonable amount of time.. I mean, you don't want him to think you're playing any games.

If you don't hear from him within 24 hours, I would begin to unpack your black, mourning dresses.

How to interpret his messages:

1) 'Hey sorry for the late reply, I've been really busy lately' 
Haven't we all. I have been very busy myself.. checking facebook to see you were online the entire day. Either he was actually busy, but just leaves his facebook open for hours on end, or he completely forgot about your message, or he was talking to so many other people that you were completely bumped from the list into the nether regions of texting, alongside Aunty Jo and Dominos offers.

2) 'Hey, what's up?'
If an unanswered message from you precedes this seemingly innocent message, either he is stupid or he thinks you're stupid enough to un-see your message from last week lingering above. Whichever the case, do not take this one any further.

However, if this is not the case and it was genuinely a thoughtful, lovely message.. then it probably means 'Hey what's up?'

Hope you enjoyed these tips on how to hurdle relationship-game obstacles from your not-so savvy dating expert!

Cara x

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